Haircut

I just had a haircut. Well for most its no big deal… but when you never had a haircut for 3 years it’s gonna be a different story! a LOT different!!! For your imaginative help I had my hair grow beyond my shoulders… and I’m a GUY!

Whew… this haircut is a personal commemoration of me letting go of all those negative things that happened during those 3 years…

It a started when I discovered my mom had cancer… I was so freakinly devastated! Who would want their mothers to get sick? Especially with something like Cancer! I hated it. So while she was losing her hair I was growing mine long. It may seem to you as weird coz most people would be going for the bald head so as to accompany whoever they know whom is losing their hair due to Cancer.. but not me… I considered doing the reverse… I even joked my mom about it that im gonna make my long hair into a wig for her to use! She would laugh about it but you would see in her eyes that she really is hurting. Cancer is one of those B*llsh*t things that go on with life, you have no choice but to cope with it. Then after a year or two she recovered and was cured… but I still had my hair growing! That’s when I discovered I was about to become a father! Oh the unimaginable joy to know that you’ll be someone’s father soon! The preparations were endless! The happiness whenever we had our checkup at the Doctor to hear about the growth of the baby… I even kept the initial ultrasound printout! I wanted to frame it! The expectation was growing each day! Both me and my partner was extremely happy! Then on her third month something happened.. twas almost 12 o clock midnight when she woke me up telling me she was having cramps.. I thought it was ok coz she had it regularly and it was normal.. but before sleeping I greeted her sweetly coz it was her birthday the next day! Imagine greeting two people at the same time coz she has our baby in her tummy! Happiness was flowing… then at almost 3am that night she woke again and went to the CR to pee… so there was I still sleepy but half awake to check if everything is ok…that’s when I heard the screams! She was screaming! What could it be??? I stood up as fast as I can then I saw the blood… my whole being felt ransacked! Why!? Why!! We rushed to the hospital wishing our baby could be saved.. but there in the hospital I discovered that there are some words you really cannot accept. “the baby is gone” WTF! The doctor was like telling me like it was just nothing… then the screams again came then the sorrowful crying… like piercing my body over and over…
I pretended to be strong… I wished I could shout and scream and cry but I cant… I had to be strong for us…. I held her…. I cant imagine what to say… what would someone say to console a mother who lost her first baby? Its IMPOSSIBLE… so I just kept silent… I really didn’t see that coming… life really is a cheat… fate is its driver…. It took us long to get over that… so long…. Till now I admit I can still feel the whole experience…

Is that it? No I have more up my sleeve… moving on we knew we had to get married… so we gathered up all our guts and arranged a marriage ourselves… but halfway through it a sudden disaster begot my soon to be wife’s family… her brother died 3 months before our decided marriage date… whew another hit on me by fate… but I can never really hate fate…but I imagine it laughing behind me.. Devilishly …

my hair was beginning to touch my shoulders that time…

after a couple of months… another plan for marriage… this time felt something good… all of our family members were helping out… each of them promised something before the day of our wedding… plans plans plans… it was great planning… from the motif to the type of flowers to get… and everything… but what happened? Before the last day of the month we we’re supposed to marry, all of them pulled out everything! Even my loan was not approved! What am I to do! I cant just plan and plan all my life… so now we decided to cancel it… but still have to tell each of our parents… wonder if they’ll agree?… that’s where my haircut session comes in… I am wishing for a clean sheet this time… may all those sad memories and mishaps be cut away too like all the hair I lost tonight… tomorrow is another day… but its gonna be a different one I know… because now… I have my short hair back again… wish wish wish!!!

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